Hi all. How are yall. I'm ok. Been pretty down lately, my mom won't give
me her tax stuff for my financial aid and it's getting pretty crazy...
if I never get it... there'll be no way to finance my college expenses.
I'll never get money for college and then I'll never be able to leave
this state. I dunno if anyone understands what I'm going through since
most people have their parents handle their financial aid and that their
parents actaully want them to do something with their life. So many deadlines....
so much uncooperation. I have 8 colleges and each college does their financial
aid differently, I'm so swamped. I dunno anyone else who is going through
he same stuff as I am so I feel really alone. If I did tell people, they
wouldn't understand..... so I don't really expect anyone reading this
to understand.... so there's no point in writing anymore about it.
I can't declare myself as an independent because my dad will cut off
child support going to my mom (which I only see a small fraction of the
$600 a week she gets), the minute my dad cuts off child support, I'm shit
outta luck and my car gets taken away (since that's some sorta deal they
struck).... seeing that I live 40 miles away from school, I wouldn't be
able to go and would have to drop out. I love being a fiscal pawn between
my parents; it makes me feel so important.....Didn't I say I would stop
talking about this?
Oh well, on a lighter note... I got my acceptance letter from Georgia
State and a letter from Cambridge University in England... something about
a summer program; yay, I guess.....
I don't wanna go to school, it's just lifeless meandering for 7 hours..
especially my internship, I might as well be interning with Dr. Ijames
and and Katz.... cause those are the only ones I see for 3 hours. I expected
my internship to flop, so it doesn't hurt so much anymore. It's kinda
funny how "Mrs. Herbs" (Shiri knows who I'm talking about) can
get a better internship than me and she's not even in the program. Sometimes
I wonder if the magnet program was ever worth it..... I can't speak too
highly of a program that has constantly let me down, and I can only name
3 seniors who have been satisfied with their experience in the program
and that's pretty bad out of 30, plus they're wierd recluses. I'm tired...
I'm tired of being used, I'm tired of the BS, I just want to be happy.
I started it... now I have to finish. Even though my experience has been
a bad one, it doesn't mean that generations ahead of mine has to be or
the rest of everyone's experiences has to be, I'm just going to do what
I've been doing; try to make things better and spark changes. From this
point foward, I'm going to forget all of my bad experiences and broken
promises from the program... and move on with my life.
"Show Choir Camp" was..... lets just say it was somethin else.
I'm leaving for Chicago in.... 3 days....
Leave me alone please, I'm not one of those losers who gets their kicks
from how many comments they have.
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